The other day I heard from Aanastassya – one of three different spellings from within the body of the email – who confessed not only that “I search a man,” but also “I commonly walk and sing.” Well, Anastasya, you sound like a catch (and far be it from me to unfairly judge a common walker), but you should know it could never work. Spelling barrier aside, after a hard day spent in the musical trenches, the last thing I need to hear is my email-order bride caterwauling some mazurka from the homeland. That, and you appear to be a girl.
Thanks for getting in touch, though. It was a lovely distraction from my daily invites to “meet other retired singles” (!!!!), or to finally purchase that Miracle Bra I’ve always wanted. Recently I encountered a dispatch intriguingly entitled “Bladder Cancer Lawyers.” I didn’t open it, but if I were managing a girl group, I’d be gunning real hard for a name change right about now. The last time I checked, the internet was still a great potential source of useful information (I Googled it, so I know), but there are fortunes to be made, so for the most part it’s become just another barren wasteland of money-grubbing and vapid trends. (Remember television? Broadway? Williamsburg?) It’s one of the reasons I was a reluctant blogger initially – though so far a few hundred people seem okay with the extra chatter, so I soldier on.
I ran into a friend this morning while commonly walking through the park, who said he’s been trying to sell his self-published books online. This was the first I’d heard of it, although there could be a personal email from him languishing in another folder somewhere. After all, there’s only so much room in my regular inbox, what with all the Nigerian princes and stranded tourists evading those eagle-eyed spam filters. I wish him luck trying to be heard over all the cyber chaos, but I have to say it was nice to catch up face-to-face. Which reminds me that even in this flashy, dazzling, digitized age, there’s still no substitute for good old human contact. No offense, Ana4tasy&.